1 Corinthians 12:4-6

“Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit; and there are varieties of service, but the same Lord; and there are varieties of activities, but it is the same God who empowers them all in everyone.” (ESV)

  Last night I had the pleasure of spending a quiet evening at home watching some television. With only a national talent search and Paralympic highlights to watch, I actually stood amazed at the amount of talent and just sheer guts that we as a country possess. A country that people so often criticise (myself included) for numerous faults and wrong doings, but it takes people like this, people that actually do not have the ability that I have and yet they go and achieve so much more, something much greater, they actually outperform most able bodied people. This brings me back to the talents that God gave us, and the question arises, what am I really doing with those talents? The short answer is…nothing.  I have legs, arms, eyes, I am able and don’t even want walk anywhere, much less run! I am shamed, before God, before these athletes, I can do something and I don’t: what a waste.  I am humbled. It just shows the amount of greatness that can be born through hardship; when you actually have to fight for something in life, when you have to take your place because nobody will give it you. This is a life lived well. Today I salute you, Athletes of the Paralympic Games for you embody what we all should aspire to; pure, raw, unadulterated  GUTS!! You guys rock!! My question therefore stands… What are you doing with yours?

 It’s like I can still see God move, but I get so frustrated at the speed He is going. So I know God is not like bound to time as we are, but I still would like things to move a touch faster. I know this is wrong, like all the sin I do for that matter, but I just cannot seem to stop. It is like I have become somewhat callous!! It sucks!! I don’t want to be this way!   I want to be touched by it all! Everything that He created, everything that He continually does in my life , the fact that I have life.  

How does this happen, when did I get so blasé about God’s presence? Have I become spoiled? 

Why do I constantly need to see some or other sign before I trust God’s word for me? I really do not know, but what I do know, it is not a great place to be in.  I feel numb, lifeless and somewhat without direction.   I read this thing about integrity, about doing the right thing, just because it is the right thing to do and not to look “oh so heavenly” it made me think… I used to pride myself on my integrity and lately I have not seen much of it in my life…funny expression that, “I pride myself” …considering God says He dislikes the proud.   

I tend to put myself in these positions of judgement over other people, because they are not as Grade A Christian as I am! What a load of straw, I mean like really, who do I think I am? Because integrity is out the door, humbleness is gone and selflessness is nowhere to be found!   Sooo…what to do?   

Well first of all, I need to get back to basics, get back to God, and get back to doing what’s right for the sake of it being the right thing to do. Not to be recognised or get the credit, not to get a gold star, not for salvation and definitely not to try and buy into God acceptance  since that is free.  I need to start worshipping God for  who He is and not because of what I think I am going get by doing it…eeek!! Did I actually say that??  Sometimes the truth hurts, but only when it needs to.